The Birthday Post
bookstores, DK Rap, and the kindness of divine criticism
This past Sunday (May 3rd) was my 38th birthday. Monday, I had taken some PTO, planning a quiet day at Barnes and Noble and home. Any festivities are planned for the next weekend, so I knew that I had a “chill” birthday outing to look forward to.
Every time I hit an age for the past fifteen or so years, I feel a slight blush of surprise. I spent the bulk of my adolescence struggling with suicidal ideation, so being two years from 40 is met with a wry, but pleased, “huh. look at that.”
Following that is usually a brief existential crisis that can be summed up with “What am I doing with my life?”, a thought that I avoided this year by simply not thinking it. I was too focused on the fact that I was here, able to have a peaceful day to myself, with the opportunity to get better.
Books, First, Obviously
My exceptional, brilliant little sister gave me some book money for my birthday, and I blithely took myself to the B&N in the mall.
I went early, a healthy, but demure 10:30am, when the mall proper is not yet open but stores like Barnes and Noble and Dick’s Sporting Goods are open. The latter is where I entered the mall. The last time I was in any sporting goods store was . . . a long time ago, and I briefly thought of perusing the offerings, but I was here for books, so I breezed up the escalators and past the tents and canoes to go out into the mall to good, ‘ole B&N.
I found the two books I was hunting down immediately, as they were both recent releases and up front. This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me by Ilona Andrews (an author duo I already trust and adore) and The Library of Amorlin by Kalyn Josephson, which has all the tropes I love, a magical library, spies, political intrigue, and a handsome intellectual.
I chatted with a nice B&N bookseller about publishers stopping the production of mass paperbacks. Have you heard of this? Publishers, traditional publishers, at least, are no longer going to be producing books in the mass paperback size, which if you do not know, are the books that are sized small enough to be slipped into a deep coat pocket or the side pocket of cargo shorts, which was my habit in my teens.
No longer. Or, at least, not with newly published books. Which is a disappointment to me, as the mass paperback size was always my preference. Not to mention they are generally cheaper and therefore more affordable for readers who cannot always afford a hardback or trade paperback.
And about the “cost effectiveness” of no longer producing mass paperbacks when hardbacks are now sold new at their debut with sprayed edges, when that used to be an extra meant for anniversary or special editions. The two books I got yesterday had sprayed edges, even though both were recent, first edition releases, and one was a debut.
They’re pretty! Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate sprayed edges as an aesthetic, but I also do not require it on any book I buy, and I can’t help but wonder how much it effects the price.
But this was birthday money, so I wasn’t too uptight about it, although I did wonder about my ability to buy new books in the future, especially from authors I usually auto buy from. I generally get paperbacks anyway, but I hope that they don’t follow the same process as before, where the hardbacks came out first, and 6-9 months later they publish the paperbacks. I am noticing that they’ll often release trade paperback editions fairly soon after the first publishing run, now, so that gives me hope.
But then again, this feels like a first-world problem, a little. Many of these books are often in libraries, both in-person and online, and there’s always the cheaper option of the Kindle edition. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily negate the difficulty of those who are not near libraries, and while they may be able to access a few different online libraries, oftentimes even digitally it’s a long wait or the library won’t have the book.
It still makes me squint my eyes a bit. I mean, a lot of cozy mysteries were published in mass paperback upon initial publication, which makes me wonder what they’re going to do with those. Are we getting tiny hardbacks? Are they going to publish them all in trade paperback, making them more expensive?
Same with a lot of romances. Straight to mass paperback. Now what?
In case you’re curious, by the way, the nice B&N employee told me that the store, at least, will stock mass paperbacks until the warehouses run out. At least a year, or so.
But I digress. Usually, even if I already picked my books, I wander around the bookstore, eyeing books (considering whether to spend more than I planned, adding them to my TBR) and checking out the fun knick-knacks the bookstore always has.
As I followed my usual meandering route, I had the uncomfortable realization that I was getting a little overwhelmed.
Now, mind you, I was at the bookstore so early in order to miss the crowds of a later afternoon at the mall. There was not a lot of people in the store, which is usually the thing that tap-dances on my anxiety.
No, this was simply an overwhelming feeling from the amount of visual information coming at me. Colors, shapes, patterns, everywhere, in rows, of various hues and intensity assaulted my eyes. The myriads of words to read jittered before my eyes like a strobe light, and my brain was attempting to capture what it could, but there was so much.
To my horror (dramatic), I realized I was becoming overwhelmed by all of the books. There was too many. There was too much to look at. And I wanted to. I wanted to look at all of them and see what they were about. That was part of the problem. It was an agony of choice.
I chose to keep my peace and purchased my books and left.
It had been a long winter, which meant I had not gone to the bookstore since long before the first snow fell. I was not used to being out and about like this, just going and coming from work and home in order to avoid the annoyance/ordeal of driving in snow with people who either drove fast enough to give the impression they wanted to meet Jesus in-person that day or slow enough to where I wondered what state they were from (and I’m born in Florida, but I learned to drive in snow, which doesn’t mean I wanted to take extra trips just because. It was cold and snowy and wet. Let’s not tempt fate).
So, I wasn’t used to . . . being outside, or in a store that wasn’t a grocery store. Perhaps I’ll go back another day and see if I’ll feel different.
After that, I visited a used media store and finally bought that adapter for the N64 that I’ve been meaning to buy for forever.
Video Game Nostalgia
I still have the N64 I got for my 13th birthday. Technically, it’s my brother’s too, because it was a joint birthday present (we’re both born in May), but I asked and received permission to keep it myself and have it stored in a cherry red suitcase for a few years now.
Until yesterday. After way too long of an initial set-up with the adapter (I blame my dyslexia, I think), I finally got it working and was able to enjoy the wonder of various N64 games on a modern TV.
Rogue Squadron. Donkey Kong. Tony Hawk Pro Skater. Mario Cart. Super Mario. Starfighter of Naboo.
Then I remembered I had said I would post Monday, and so I left the Donkey Kong intro on and took out my laptop to type out a quick post, while jamming out to an oldie, but a goldie: Donkey Kong’s “DK Rap”. Verse Three has my favorite lyrics:
He has no style, he has no grace
Th-this Kong has a funny face
He can handstand when he needs to
And stretch his arms out, just for you
Inflate himself just like a balloon
This crazy Kong just digs this tune!
Huh!— “DK Rap”, all rights to Nintendo
The number of times we (by we, I mean my siblings and I) have let this intro run on and on when I was a child, I cannot count. Sitting, listening to this, a funny song I haven’t heard in I don’t know how many years, was healing in a way.
The year we got the N64 was one of most turbulent years of my life and continued for nearly a decade. Sitting in my living room, well-lit by the sun through the bay windows, writing and bopping to that silly song while feeling like I was safe in my own home was like a birthday gift in and of itself.
I did discover that I did not remember how to play Donkey Kong, but I’ll figure it out.
Divine Correction
The details are private; all I will say is that I am going through things. But the Lord has been gracious with gentle correction. Usually, it would not feel like a gift to get some on your birthday, but this correction filled me with hope.
Sidenote: I have probably made some comments in other posts referencing my beliefs, but I am a Christian by my belief in Jesus Christ as my Savior and the Son of God. My relationship with God is woven throughout my thoughts, writing, hobbies, ideas, and world view, so sometimes He is going to come up on this blog.
I am both warning you and giving you a congenial head’s up.
Lately, I had been lamenting “being stuck” in a situation or feeling, convinced I could not find my way out or form better habits.
In the late afternoon of my birthday, I was reminded that it is not true that I am “stuck”. I am choosing every day to remain in the position that I am. Sometimes by choosing to not do something. Sometimes by choosing to do something, most of the time, these choices I choose to do are less beneficial than the choices I choose to not do.
What really tickles me is the insistence in which He keeps gently prodding me to make a change. To myself, I am harsher than He ever is, and often I am surprised by the way He speaks to me, as if I expect to deserve a more critical tone. Meaner. Cruel.
He’s never going to speak to me that way, and I think I’m finally starting to believe that.
All in all, a pretty great birthday, in my opinion. I’ve started This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me, which is fantastic and may get me out of my reading slump!
I’m stuck on level 2 of Rogue Squadron, but I’m sure I’ll get it eventually, like before. I remember this level being hard before, and it doesn’t help that the X-Wing in the game turns like a semi.
I’m working my way through what the Lord has told me to watch for and change. It’s a process, but I am genuinely trying to begin. The opportunity to begin, I think, is also a gift.
Happy Birthday to me!
I am so pleased you had a good birthday! Love your writing!