Body Aches
If one wanted, you could catalog body aches into three different categories: the good kind, the healing kind, and the chronic kind. Chronic is an interesting term because to some it can mean forever and to others it can mean for a few years or at least until this or that procedure. But whatever category, there is not a human on Earth who has not experienced body aches in one (or two - or three!) of these categories.
On Chronic Body Aches, briefly
I’ve had my fair share of various chronic body aches. A stress disorder manifested itself in three or four (sometimes at the same time) painful symptoms over the years and only abated to here and there after an intense bout of trauma therapy.
My legs decided to turn on me and develop a disorder I had never heard of and that only effected me when I was exerting myself - neatly snipping my burgeoning Army career in the bud, by which I mean, in the middle of boot camp. I still have to be careful I do not run marathons or climb mountains (or, really, jog a short distance or use a stair master) and so in that sense it has remained chronic. Long walks are a no go, but short walks I can do.
These two aches have led me to tears, despair, contemplating various procedures (one which would have taken over a year to heal from) and really adding the cherry on top to a depressive and anxiety disorder that seemed to like to dance the rumba with my body aches on a regular basis.
I do not want to talk about them too much. It’s an ocean of a subject and I often feel that in terms of chronic pain, even with these two examples, I am still better off than others who deal with other types of chronic pain. Can I say this? It feels a bit like someone with a broken ankle complaining about how they can’t walk to someone with an amputated foot. My legs may ache every time I take a step some days, but I can still take that step on my own feet.
This is not to say that I do not talk about it with family and friends. But publicly, it feel disingenuous somehow, except for a brief mention, like the above. Also, I really don’t know how to write about them quite yet, especially the stress disorder. Curious, what are your thoughts about this? Do you struggle with speaking publicly about some things?
The Good Kind
Recently, I’ve felt the good kind of body aches. I have been unemployed for some time now and started a new job this past week (hence my absence, adjustment period and all that) and my body has been telling me all about it.
I admit, I was not working out during this “free” period and so I came to work as weak as a kitten but ready and able.
Oof. The cracking of my knees (which do ache in the cold, I should keep an eye on that) and the burning, deep ache in the shoulders. Muscles I forgot I had screaming at me, then whimpering. At the end of the day, no matter how good my shoes are (and they are excellent) my feet sing a duet of pain and anger right up until I get home.
But, yes, I still call this the good kind. After months of the only true work I did being scouring job sites and filling out redundant application after application I was doing something that guaranteed a check, some form of security, and I was doing it, literally in some cases, by the sweat of my brow.
The Good Ache
I have rarely been so happy to feel aches in my body. Of course, its a bonus that they fade through the evening, and eventually over the weekend, so a new week starts feeling fresh-ish. But the wellness - the very feeling of well-being and even a little bit of pride that I feel at the ache in my body because it is from work, from industry, from exertion (as far as I am able to exert myself) is a buoyant feeling that succors the whiplash from going from no job to very busy, eight hour days.
There’s something about that ache that goes beyond the natural. An almost spiritual aspect that touches the soul. That brings a sort of peace to the mind. Working the body in pursuit of a goal, especially a shared goal with co-workers, has a an effect on the spirit and mind that is hard to articulate but I will try.
The Body Aches, the Spirit Soars
Having experienced chronic pain, healing pain, and good body aches, there is something about the latter that - to borrow a cliché - puts a spring in your step at the end of the day.
I think some of it is the knowledge that the ache in your body is from hard work, and not from something going wrong in your body. The ache is a sign that you worked hard today.
For someone who deals with mental illnesses, its also a sign that I showed up, worked hard despite what I was feeling or thinking, and finished the day on a high note. Sure, I could finish a bad day with the same aches, which would feel very different. But a good ache lets me know that that day, my mind did not stop me, and therefore my body, from doing what I needed to do.
I am aware, that like with working out, your body releases a certain amount of serotonin (or is it dopamine?) in response to your body’s movements. So, yes, certainly there’s a biochemical component to this experience. That does not negate the effect it has on your mental well-being or sense of self.
Body Aches Everywhere
My current job is not the only place I’ve experience these good body aches. Below is a short list of other times where the ache felt good and showed that something was accomplished.
Finishing my thesis:
This body ache was concentrated more in the head: gritty eyes, headache, neck ache, etc. I think I finished it at 6am after being up for the past 24 or so hours. I was seeing double as well. Certainly not something I want to repeat, but I could not have been happier and less sane at that moment.
After cleaning the house:
Like I said, I do have the chronic aches, and sometimes they show up after I do something like vacuum or clean the shower (those knees!). But I now have a clean house and I feel good about it. So, a good ache.
The Fifth day of work:
It’s a different ache when your body realizes its been working for the past five days and now you can finally go home and rest and not have to wake up early the next day. I don’t really know how my body can tell the difference - I think its a subconscious connection between the mind and my body. But that last day of the week ache is something else - it’s kind of great.
What’s your good body ache?
When was a time when you worked hard and felt that ache, but it was overshadowed by a feeling of accomplishment and pride? What sort of things produce a good body ache in your life? What do you think about the mental and spiritual connection to a good body ache? Let me know in the comments!